Femininity Is Key

”Gurus” on Youtube and within the hypergamy community will swear up and down that “femininity” is the key, and through “femininity” you can bag any man that has ever walked this Earth. All you need to do is remain in your “feminine energy” and men will fall to their knees trying to serve you. 

Now this all sounds FANTASTIC, except for one thing: What the hell is feminine energy and where can a sister get some???

If you have been on your femininity/level-up/hypergamous journey for some time, you probably have faced the femininity spiel. Everyone preaches it, but no one can tell you what it means. Everyone talks about it, but no one can tell you how to harness it. 

I spent years on my journey trying to grasp this concept. I wasted money on “gurus” who swore up and down they could give me the recipe to femininity, when in reality they couldn’t even spell the word “feminine”.

So today, allow me to give you ladies a few tips on how to cultivate your femininity and use it on your journey.

WHAT IS FEMININITY?

A State of Being. The reason people struggle so much to define femininity is because femininity itself is not a tangible concept.
The tangible form of femininity is you. 
Let me repeat that:  The tangible form of femininity is you.
You are the personified/tangible form of femininity, and therefore, if you are not in a feminine state it will be hard to fully grasp an intangible concept. 

Femininity is a state of being. Imagine it like an energy radiating from your heart and exuding out of you. 

Everyone Has It.  Yes, even men! Everyone you encounter has feminine and masculine energy. Like yin and yang, both need to coexist to keep you balanced. Without femininity, masculinity would not exist, without masculinity, femininity would not exist.

Women are Innately Born More Feminine Than Men. However, just because we are born with more femininity, does not mean our environment and experiences have not altered this. In fact, nowadays, most men are more feminine than women! 

This is due to society not valuing femininity because it is seen as a weakness compared to masculinity instead of a complementary entity. We as women are now raised to operate in our masculine, which alters our body’s biology, our dating preferences, and our relationships.

HOW TO DEVELOP FEMININITY

Provide a Safe Environment to Flourish. Would a delicate flower thrive in the harsh artic tundra? No. Then why would you?
If you are in a circumstance of instability, financial insecurity, food insecurity, abuse, etc. this has to  be changed immediately. Such environments destroys femininity.
Create an environment of comfort, peace, and luxury. You should be able to relax and bask in your femininity without worry.

Heal Past Traumas. We all have a past, but sis, if you’re letting that past control your present/future, something has to be changed. Therapy, inner work, meditation, and empathy towards your self will help with this.

Nourish Your Soul. Ladies, this may sound weird, but I cultivate my femininity the most when I indulge in healthy/good food, like fruits, fish, and exotic dishes. If you are eating takeout every other day, or microwavable meals constantly, you are not nourishing your soul.

Slow. Down. Femininity is free flowing like a wave. Water isn’t always in a rush, nor is it constrained. This week, I want you to dedicate relaxation time throughout the day. In the mornings, wake up early, and take it easy. At lunch, stop working, and truly rest your mind. In the evenings, devote this time to your passions, hobbies, and relaxing. Slow. Down.

Stop trying to be Superwoman ladies. You can’t do it all, you need to rest. Society lied to you. Put your needs and self first!

Find Creative Outlets. Ladies, every woman is creative. Now this doesn’t mean every single one of you can draw or paint, but you all harness a level of creativity, whether it be in the arts or business creation! Find that outlet that you enjoy, and dedicate time throughout the week to this creative form. Femininity is highly creative, and by doing the same mundane tasks everyday, you are literally killing your femininity.

Censor Your Intake. I know a lot of you are guilty of this one. You need to be aware about what content you are taking in. Do you seriously believe you can be a ‘feminine woman’ while taking in dusty, pick me, and masculine content?? That’s like thinking you’ll learn to speak Spanish in a Japanese language class– it’s not happening sis!

Surround yourself in femininity and eliminate negative stimuli. 

USING FEMININITY WITH HIGH VALUE MEN
A high value, MASCULINE man will absolutely adore and cherish a feminine woman. The easiest way to tell if he is masculine is by how he treats you and what he expects from you.
Once you have identified a masculine, high value, affluent man, here are ways to use your femininity in hypergamy:

Visually Entice Him. Appearance is one of the best ways to express your femininity visually. Aim to be enticing. Whether its with a flowy skirt, or a form-fitting dress, a feminine woman should always accentuate her features, and stand apart somehow.
Small things like adorning your hair with delicate accessories is something fascinating to masculine men. The little details that a feminine women pays attention to goes a long way. 
However, a softer appearance will always come off more feminine than an exaggerated one. Avoid extremely long/tacky nails, drag queen makeup, and Insta-thot outfits. 
If you don’t know where to begin, start with the basics: heels, long hair, and a nice dress! 

Do Not Chase. I have already made a post regarding this ladies, but just in case you forgot: do not chase a man. Ever. Allow a man to be in his masculine and pursue you. Do not try to compete with men either. 
This tip isn’t just in regards to dating. I have found in my life when I stopped chasing friendships/platonic relationships, those who truly valued me sought me out. Invest your energy only in those who value you.

Go With the Flow. Ladies, I know our goal is hypergamy (marriage). I know we all want to be spoiled and provided for. But while dating, you all have to relax. Have fun. Go with the flow. If your sole focus is trying to get a Gucci bag or Louboutins, your mindset is completely off. Keep your goals in mind, but focus on having fun and the experience while dating.

Vulnerable? Yes. Emotional? No. Your emotions can be one of the most powerful tools in seduction. Do not underestimate the power of your emotions. Control your negative emotions (anger, frustration, crazy), and play up the feminine + vulnerable emotions. This includes: bliss, fear, sadness, and passion. Express your emotions in an appropriate way to build that connection with him.

Hypergamous tip: Men love enthusiasm. When a man does something for you, express excitement and gratitude. Act like a little kid on Christmas morning and you’ll have them eating from the palm of your hand!

Be Passionate. Vibrant. Ladies, if all you talk about is your achievements/work/school, let me tell you: stop it. Men don’t care. Be intriguing while maintaining mystery! 

Bring Him Into Your Realm. Your world is one of bliss, comfort, and feminine energy. A masculine, high value man is often caught up in work, business, and the pressures of life. If he treats you right, allow him a glimpse into your world where he will experience peace and comfort through your femininity.

Femininity is not a simple concept, I can’t possibly cover it all in one post. This is just a starting guide to help you get on the right track in case you are confused on where to begin. 

Some finals notes on what femininity is not:

- Mothering; yes, femininity is nurturing.  Nurture yourself, nurture your passions, nurture your garden– don’t nurture (mother) a man.
- Being a doormat. A feminine woman is in control of her emotions, but that doesn’t mean she will let people walk all over her! Do not tolerate poor behavior or mistreatment. 
- Faked. There’s a lot of stuff you can fake on your hypergamous journey, but ladies, femininity is not one of them. Trust me. Femininity is a state of being, so even if you pretend to be feminine, the masculinity will always appear. 

It is important to remember that femininity presents itself in many different ways, and because of this, you should focus on “feeling” feminine, rather than acting feminine/looking the part.

Now that you have a deeper understanding of femininity and how to cultivate it in your life, I want to ask you this: What steps will you take today to embrace and enhance your femininity?

xoxo

Shadow Seductress